Welcome to Our Blog – Voca Blogita!

Welcome to Voca Blogita – our “little voice blog.” At Voca Femina we’re passionate about women, about creativity, and about self-expression. The feminine voice is powerful, creative, life-giving, and beautiful, and we’re here to celebrate it.

It takes courage to speak up. To write. To sing, dance, paint, sculpt, or shoot pictures. This little blog is just another way to infuse you – and us – with  enough courage to keep the spark of creative expression alive, to fan it into flame – heck, to burn the house down if we can!

Every week we’ll offer a little something to help you believe in the spark that’s already inside you, waiting to be expressed.

So tune in, jump in, and join the conversation.

 

The Pen is Mightier Than…Microsoft Word? by Phyllis Mathis

Facebook, email. texting, tweeting, Microsoft Word.

Word processing.

Computer-assisted writing.

It’s good stuff, right? So much faster, more efficient than the old yellow pad, leaky pen, scratched out sentences, and editing-via-arrows of my youth. Not to mention all those countless hours in elementary school, tracing letters, drawing words with clunky pencils  in my Big Chief Tablet, counting the days until I could “write cursive” and with a pen!

We’ve come a long way, baby.

Still, I wonder if we’ve lost something. Is there something about putting a literal pen to paper that opens a spot in us that nothing else can?

I think so. There’s something about the circuit we make – heart, to head, to hand, to pen, to paper, and back again – that tends to prime the creative pump. Something happens somehow – electrical? chemical? muscular? Something real begins to emerge.

Here are a few suggestions to get the circuit flowing – pen across paper, priming the creative pump:

1. Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages. Get a spiral notebook with 8 1/2 X 11 sheets of paper. Pick up your pen and write whatever is at the very top of your head. No editing, no judging, no trying to be profound. Don’t stop until you’ve filled 3 pages with writing. Quantity over quality. Get the lead out. The purpose of this type of writing is to dump off the mundane, anxious, ridiculous, petty, useless mental stuff we carry around in our heads every day. Don’t read it, just dump it. Do it every day, first thing if you can. Think of it as removing the dross. See what beauty begins to emerge after a few weeks of taking out the trash this way.

2. Stuck because you’re angry? Make yourself an angry journal. Spew it out and leave it there, in its own dedicated toxic waste dump. Don’t pollute your other writing, keep this journal just for the nasties.

3. Put the pen in your other hand. Writing with your non-dominant hand forces your mind to shift into a different mode. Like a voice for your inner child, this type of journaling is creative, fun, and often very, very surprising.

4. Write letters. To yourself, to a friend, to God, to an enemy, to your dear old diary. No need to send them, necessarily, just write them down. On paper. With a writing instrument. Audience, even an imaginary one, makes a difference sometimes.

Pick one and try it, or suggest your own method. And let us know how it goes.

In the meantime:

Get ready for Voca Femina Live, February 19th! Have you RSVP’d yet?

 

Three Little Words, by Francine Phillips

Three Little Words

A few years ago I got a birthday card that I just loved. It talked about those three little words that every woman wants to hear, then inside the card it spelled them out: “You’re not fat.”

O.K., O.K., maybe “I love you” would still win in some hearts, especially around Valentine’s Day, but when you reach a certain age,  isn’t saying “You’re not fat” pretty much saying the same thing?

I’ve learned to live by a new set of words in the last couple of years. Things like a terminal illness in the family, a job loss, being overwhelmed and facing an empty nest – these set off a soul search and a change of mindset that has made these my favorite three words: “Don’t need it.”

It began with the illness that hit us like a tsunami. My big, handsome, deep-voiced husband collapsed and triggered a “stuff” purge of the same enormity of the diagnosis that predicted he would be dead in 60 days. Within 10 days I had taken two truckloads to the Goodwill and three truckloads to the dump.  Nothing like imminent death to want every drawer in order, every closet organized, vases stacked neatly in cupboards (LOTS of vases come with LOTS of flowers once word gets out). Even the dark recesses under the sinks got a thorough edit. Throw it away, throw it away, throw it away – this was the mantra that somehow was supposed to be a trade-off of sorts. If I got rid of all the extras, maybe I would be allowed to keep the important things – like the man I loved.

So, out went the leather love seats that I was saving for my son’s first apartment, the desk I had as a child, the glass-shelved “credenza” where mother kept her figurines. Figurines! My husband is dying. Who gives a crap about figurines?

Death is a great clarifier.

Of course, he didn’t die after all, but lost his sight and has dementia, so in this country, with this healthcare system costs, the second purge set in – downsizing. Going from our sprawling, somewhat worse-for-wear house (that ballooned and contracted as adult children left and came back) to a three bedroom condo was the strategy.

First there is just the reasonable downsizing like the four cookie presses that we used to have pumping at once in five pairs of hands. That part of our lives is over. I will never have all five daughters in my kitchen at once baking. One is enough. In face, will I ever really use even ONE cookie press again? Well, maybe one. The electric one for when the arthritis sets in.  Multiply this mentality to purging luggage, Halloween decorations, garden tools, winter coats, and pairs of jeans. Lots can go.

Then there is the downsizing that comes just from putting your house on the market. All those expert Home&Garden channel shows that demand that you remove anything personal, any clutter, anything tattered, stained, old, and out of date. That takes a big chunk out of anybody’s home, let alone a woman past fifty with grown kids. Bookcases can’t be laden and overflowing with favorites like the biographies of Anita Hill and Joan Baez, two copies of the Lord of the Rings series and a shelf of videotaped movies. One or two per shelf is it. So the garage sale has a huge banner that says Books 25 Cents and you learn a lot about your neighbors by seeing which ones they pick up.

Finally, when you think that you’ve mastered the art of “Don’t need it,” comes a new level that slams you when you lose your job. Now, the holy trinity of words has to apply not only to what you are giving away, but to what you would normally buy. Water bottles? I pay for the water that comes out of the tap, why pay again?  Housekeeper – I’m home all day. Gardener – kill the gym fee and the weeds at the same time. Food? The vegetables that come from the foodshare warehouse are just as fresh from the ones at the grocery store.

And somewhere along the line, “Don’t need it” has become the first thing that comes to mind when I shop. And it feels good. When my sister heard I was selling my house, her first comment was, “What will you do with all your stuff?”

“Get rid of it.” What else?

So, this past Christmas had a theme for me – hand-me-down or hand made. I knitted like a madwoman and gave away beloved books, dishes, ornaments, and created a dress-up trunk for my grandchildren. I loved giving away things that I have treasured. I don’t need to HAVE them to still treasure them.

I could win a book contract tomorrow, or receive a life insurance check, or a great job again that could put me back on the major consumer list with a high end credit card limit. That would be great. But I’ve learned the freedom that comes from “Don’t need it” and never plan to go back to the bondage of wanting something I don’t need

Anyone want an electric cookie press?

 

American Normal Person, by Francine Phillips

American Normal Person

“American Idol” has started, or, to choose a more appropriate name, “So You Think You Can Sing?” Over 9,000 contestants in Boston were whittled down to 38 golden tickets. What is it that makes people think they have a better voice than they do? Isn’t it O.K. anymore to have a good voice, a pleasant voice, the best in the choir, the one to sing at weddings, or to belt out the national anthem at the conference playoffs? Do you have to become an “Idol” to be validated?

Do you have to be an Octo-mom?  A Balloon Boy? Have a thousand “friends” on Facebook, or a million hits on YouTube?

It doesn’t make a different You.

What makes some of us have an inflated view of our importance – to think we can sing – is the same craving that makes the rest of us grovel and “follow” on the chance of catching rays of stardust when our Idol whooshes past? If we are part of something bigger than ourselves, than we think we are bigger, too.

My friend pointed out that we create our Idols and then we relish in tearing them down. Tiger Woods is a great golfer.  Somewhere along the way fans surmised that he was also a great husband, a great father, a gentleman and a scholar. Oops. Not so. Just a great golfer. Isn’t that enough?  Not anymore.

It seems that the connections we crave are out of control because we have lost the small things in life that validate us as worthy individuals. The smile from the mailperson. Knowing the dry cleaning clerk. Listening to your neighbor’s problems. The barista who automatically knows your name. Recognizing the kids who trick or treat at your door. Volunteering at the local food bank. Doing a good job. These are not little things, they are huge. And they add up. Daily connections help us know who we are in a context that is immediate and real. Real – not reality.

If you are I are loved and appreciated and encouraged in real time by real people, the allure of being on Oprah diminishes exponentially. Maybe if we are part of something human, we can become more human, too.

 

Being True to What’s Important, by Jennifer Herrick

“Sure, sometimes my plans fall short. But even if 60 percent of my goals are made in vain … wow! That means 40 percent of my plans have a good chance of bearing fruit!” – Karen Scalf Linamen

I needed to read that quote today as I thought about all the goals and plans I have and how little I feel I accomplish in certain areas. I want to do art. I want to write. I even have specific projects in mind, but sometimes I just focus on the obstacles that keep me from them.

For example, at this moment what is daunting to me is this: I am convinced that I have to finish cleaning and organizing my loft before I can work. (Honestly, every January I launch into this!) It is too frustrating not to have work space and not to be able to get to materials that I know are here –  somewhere. I have been working in my dining room for weeks at a time when what I need is a proper work table in another room. This makes me feel as if my house is completely upside down and frustratingly disheveled when visitors come by. Having friends over for dinner is one of my favorite things to do, and the lingering mess derails those intentions..

Another obstacle: With the start of another new year it feels necessary to take care of old business before starting new business. This year I have more resolve and am more ruthlessly tossing out old papers and stuff that I haven’t used or referred to in a long time. On to the new.

This year, instead of being sidetracked, I am trying to see my efforts at catching up and cleaning up as vital parts of the whole picture of closure and a new beginning. If I keep pushing through and make a little progress each day, a week or two from now I will be able to set up my easel, find my paints, see the top of my computer desk, and have my supplies within reach. Looking forward to that kind of freedom is a good motivator.

Another sidetrack for me is disguised as “inspiration.” Trips to Crate and & Barrel, The Container Store, Borders, stores which sell art supplies, and even Home Depot start to rev up my imagination. The stimulation of all those products which could promise to make my life easier and more beautiful and more productive may cause some temporary memory loss. I need to step back and admit, “Oh, yeah, I have some of that at home already. I’m not using it.”

Seeing beauty, colorful displays, and getting excited about art supplies and gadgets isn’t the same as getting down to work, any more than seeing a great recipe is the same as hospitality. It’s about opening the jar of paint (or pesto) and taking the time to make it happen.

I am thankful for the steam the New Year brings to my intentions. This year I want to stay steady and focused on moving forward even if my new year’s resolve lessens a bit. Obstacles will show up from time to time and I need to be aware of what hinders me. (like Kathy said in a previous post.) But if I stay true to myself and take time to follow through, things will happen. Being true to what is important to me will cause my voice to become stronger. I think a greater percentage of the goals in my head will have real results. And I think recognizing those results will heighten my joy and lessen my fear to step out and try even more.

Questions to ask myself:

What are the things I feel good about from 2009?
Where did my voice grow stronger?
What can I do to make that happen even more this year?

 

Soulcare Giveaway!

From time to time we will be highlighting resources that will help you develop your creative voice. This week we’re featuring a friend of Voca Femina, Rachelle Mee-Chapman. Rachelle is the creator of Magpie Girl, a daily source of soulful creative fuel.

Read all about Rachelle here, and read an article she wrote for Voca Femina here.

Rachelle is offering, to one soulful Voca Femina reader, a free 6 month subscription to her online spiritual journey,  Flock.

Flock is an on-line soulcare spa dedicated to ”finding a spirituality that fits.”  On our private pages, Flock members can participate in  soulcare courses, make monthly soulcraft projects,  join book clubs, and ask advice from a team of professional soulcare specialists.

Unlike short-term Ecourses, the Flock is open all year long, allowing you to form ongoing connections with your virtual soultribe. Participate a little, or come by every day — it’s totally up to you.

Here’s what soulsister Jen Lemen of Mondo Beyondo & Picture Hope has to say about the Flock:

“Few people know how to tend the soul like Rachelle Mee Chapman.   A curator of everything exquisite and salvageable from the spiritual traditions, Rachelle understands how to craft a nest where comfort gives way to calling, where self-care reveals with compassion your finest, truest self.  I am honored to say I know first hand what it means to be in Rachelle’s circle of concern and care, and I can only imagine what good things await those who will join the amazing community of learners ready to fly in the Flock.”

To win this amazing opportunity, email us at vocafemina@gmail.com, and tell us about your spiritual/creative journey in 100 words or less by the end of Wednesday, January 13th.

 

things that hinder, things that help by kathy escobar

“inside you is an artist you don’t know about” – rumi

as we wrap up the end of this year, one of the things i hope for all of us is that in 2010 some of the obstacles to creativity are removed.  everyone’s an artist.  sure, there are those that might take it more seriously than others, have more training, more experience, more of all kinds of things. but everyone–and i do mean everyone–is an artist.

some of you already know this and are letting your creativity emerge.  others of you aren’t quite sure yet.  what does it mean to be an artist? to create?  to express yourself creatively? to let what is inside out?  i think the answer is different for everyone, but the thing that seems most important to me is that we each try to find it.  to tap into what’s buried in there, to be willing to try to let some of it out, to revive some of the dreams you might have once had but you life took over and you forgot about them, to actively move our hands, our feet, our hearts toward creating–whatever that looks like for each of us.

in order to do this, sometimes we need to become more honest about the things that hinder creativity and the things that help it. in 2010, my hope is that more and more of us fan into flame the things that help & dismantle the things that hinder.

• take a few minutes this week and think about the upcoming year and some of your dreams for creating.  write them down.  be clear.  in 2010, i really want to ___________.

• now make a list of the things that hinder your ability to do this freely.  maybe it’s time, the negative voices in your head, money, support from important people in your life, etc., etc.  yes, these things are real and i don’t want to dismiss that they are true obstacles to doing some of what you love to do.  at the same time, if we lean into this list, we will stay stuck.

• next make a list of the things that help you creatively.  who inspires you?  is setting aside a certain time once a week, once a day, once a month, once a ? helpful.  does making deadlines motivate you?  does saying out loud to a close friend “you need to make sure i don’t give up on this” keep you in the game?  what else helps, fans your creative juices into flame?   this list is the one we need to lean into, give our attention to.

yes, i know that so many of us have done our share of lists and just the mere thought of it is annoying.  but the idea of voca blogita is to offer some practical tools to help fan our creative juices into flame.  to do this, i can help to acknowledge the the things that hinder and focus on doing the things that help.  i believe the scales will always tip toward the hindering side if we are not careful.  creativity often feels like a luxury.  it shouldn’t, but it does.

to live some of this out, we must fan into flame the things that help.  i am working on my lists right now & am noticing how easy to look at the things that hinder and throw in the towel on some of my creative ideas.  my hope for all of us in 2010 is that we fight against the resistance so that the beauty & wisdom & creativity that is inside every one of us comes out–some way, some how.

here’s to things that help.

 

Leave it to Beauty, by Phyllis Mathis

a baby’s laugh

a grandmother’s smile

the kindness of strangers

twinkling lights

lilting melody

crackling fire

cinnamon sweets

nutmeg and clove

sparkling snow

deep winter night

glowing hearts

hopeful faces

stillness

silence

laughter

tears

beauty heals

(art by melody epperson, “dance with me”)

 

Counter With Kindness, by Phyllis Mathis

Ok, so we haven’t been very consistent here at Voca Blogita. Our goal of providing weekly inspiration has been a bit sporadic. It happens. Life interferes with our best intentions. That seems especially true when it comes to art. Creating seems like a luxury, and when the urgent presses in, art fades into the background.

If you’re like me, the first voice I hear as the latest whirlwind settles, is the voice of my inner critic, wielding the mighty should – You should be more consistent. You should get more done. You should be better at this. You should never miss a deadline. If I give this critic the microphone in my head, in no time, my creative self will hang its head in shame.

What’s to be done?

Only one thing – counter with kindness. The creative impulse thrives in an atmosphere of self-love.

Instead of the mighty should, try these verbal countermeasures:

Welcome back to the work. Start where you are. Every effort counts. Breathe. Look around. The world is teeming with life. Jump in anywhere. Nothing is lost. You can do this. You’re worth it.

Remember, a little kindness goes a long way.

 

what have you got to lose?

i seem to write about a lot of the same themes when it comes to courage in creativity.  i quite possibly say the same thing over and over again, and maybe that’s because i strongly believe that the voices in our head are probably our biggest obstacle to diving in to our places of passion.  we can always think of all of the reasons that we can’t, shouldn’t, or won’t step into our creativity.

one way that i think is helpful to push through those nagging, irritating voices is to live in a little bit more reality & quit making the mountain seem bigger than it really is.

let’s say we have a passion for writing and we want to create a blog and start putting some of those thoughts on “paper” (ha! it’s funny  how paper is becoming obsolete in writing these days!).  sometimes it’s worth walking through all of the downsides of trying:   1) no one might read; 2) you might feel really vulnerable that some of the things you shared are so exposed to others; 3) you might not get the feedback or response that you were hoping for.  i sort of think those are the main ones, although i am sure that you could probably add some of your own crazy obstacles to it and the list might grow. i am guessing, though, that anything else you add has the same basic theme:  yes, it might not turn out the way you want.  yes, you might not get the feedback  you are hoping for.  yes, you might feel vulnerable.

but none of those things are worth NOT doing it for.

creativity requires risk.  we will have to put ourselves out there and try.  we will have to push through our fears of being rejected or misunderstood.  we will have to “do it anyway” even when you have voice in your head telling you all the reasons you shouldn’t.  we will have to have the courage to go for it and know that the only thing we probably have to lose is pride & ego.  i am not saying those don’t feel like very important things, but i also believe that creativity can’t burst forth without letting some of it go.

here are the things i have lost since i started writing in a very intentional way (that is one of my creative passions):  1) a few friends,ha!  some don’t really like the things that i talk about; 2) sleep when i have had anxiety that some of the pieces i have written would be misinterpreted; 3) time because it is a bit more of a time-sucker than i originally anticipated.

but here’s some what i have gained:  1) courage that i didn’t know i had to say the things i needed to say and really not edit; 2) confidence that even though i will be misunderstood i am still fine.  i don’t need everyone to agree to be “okay”; 3) freedom to be a boat-rocker instead of a people-pleaser.   it’s been very free-ing.

i know each of you reading has a different passion.  it may be photography, art, design, poetry, music, video, and all kinds of things in between.  here’s my hope for you, for me.  that we’d lean into living a little more in the reality that the obstacles that keep us from moving forward in our passion are often in our head.  i am not saying real ones don’t exist, but i truly believe we have less to lose than we think.

go for it.  take the next step toward making your passion more of a priority.  risk trying.

 

Keeping it Juicy, by Vicki Kinney Petersen

Keeping it Juicy

I’ve been aware recently of feeling somewhat distant from my creative edge, so am curious to know how you keep yours alive and juicy?

After reflecting on when and where my energy has been the highest during this past month, I realized some of the most magical moments are playing with my two-year-old, granddaughter, Aja Gray.

Yesterday morning, she was sliding around smoothly on her belly on our dirty wooden kitchen floor. She pushed herself forward by pushing off of the front edge of her round rubber soles on her brown leather snow boots.  “Come on Miggies, do this with me.”

As I laid on the floor in prone position near her, I asked her if we were swimming. “No” she said, “We’re caterpillars getting something to eat!”

I burst out laughing. At the same time I secretly wondered how I would lead the way if I was a caterpillar looking for food… We didn’t actually eat any crumbs down there, but sure had lots of fun!

In the afternoon, Aja Gray and I walked down the corridor of a public building and she began to hop with loud shouts of joy…”Come on, Miggies, do this with me.”

She was acting like a baby kangaroo with palms held bent in front of her chest, wrinkling her nose and gleefully hopping down the quiet marble corridor.   I hopped along with delight as the mama kangaroo more enlivened with every jump! People were walking by and when I caught their eye, they seemed especially taken by Aja Gray’s merriment and spontaneity. She was enthralled with her own creative abandonment, hardly noticing anyone else.

Whacky and wonderful ideas often unfold during and after my times spent with her.  It all happens from letting her be my teacher. With very little structure and almost no planning we have a blast… I leave her feeling more alive, creative and free. My gift to her is that I offer spaces and places to explore and wonder.  I let her lead the way, being her magical self. Her gift to me is the invitation to participate in and respond to her curiosity and playfulness.

What or who invites you to play with abandon? How about trying a bit of flexibility. Where can you lighten up, let go and get a little (or a lot) crazy? What magical ideas might spill out if you do?

I have a hunch, there’s a close relationship between the “aha’”of discovery and the ‘ha-ha” of lightness and spontaneity, and being whacky stimulates your creative juices.

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